


Should Have Just Called Him Whiskey

by TriaKane



Category: Actor RPF, Leverage, The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Had to Get it Out of My Head, No excuses!, Song Inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:01:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27886447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TriaKane/pseuds/TriaKane
Summary: Play with the fire and you're gonna get burned.
Relationships: Christian Kane/Reader
Kudos: 7





	Should Have Just Called Him Whiskey

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song "Whiskey" by Jana Kramer. Heard it today, not for the first time, but today it made me think of CK. The idea wouldn't let go and distracted me from everything else, so I wrote it. I don't know anything about CK first hand. I've never met him, in fact, I'm afraid to; I'd want him to be Eliot, and he would be CK, and blow my mind. I'm not ready to give up writing Eliot, so CK will remain a mystery to me. The things I've written about him are based on things I've read and heard. If I got specifics wrong, I apologize. I just had to get the story out of my head. 
> 
> Correct song lyrics at the end of the story.

_Everybody down in Norman calls him ‘Chris’.  
Everybody way up north calls him ‘Chef’.  
You should've heard the way that his Mama called him ‘baby’,  
Daddy called him ‘boy’, and his friends call him ‘Kane’._

I’m one of those girls. I’m guilty. I admit it. I didn’t listen to a word he said. Well, I listened to what I wanted to hear. 

After we met, he told me he didn’t do causal hookups anymore. That he was a ‘relationship’ guy. After two weeks of dates and calls and home cooked dinners, wining and dining, he sat me down and explained the rest. He wasn’t the marrying kind, but that if we started a relationship, he’d be 100% faithful. And all of this happened before he’d ever even taken me to bed.

All I heard was Christian Kane wanted a relationship with me and he was taking me to bed. The rest was just noise.

The first time he took me to bed was in October. We’d taken a long weekend off from filming and we held up in a cabin on the perimeter of the Williamette National Forest. He loved like he did everything else in his life, with his whole heart. Being on the receiving end of that... heat and intensity, was overwhelming. With every touch and caress, I wanted more. I was addicted beyond reason and sanity. 

_The burn and the sting, and the high, and the heat  
And the ‘left-me-wanting-more’ feeling when he kissed me,  
I shoulda just called him whiskey_

We went to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving, and I met his family. It was surreal watching him interact with them, the unconditional parental and familial love I witnessed. I sat back and listened to the stories from his childhood and watched, falling more in love with him every moment.

Christmas found us traveling across the states, visiting his friends in California and Texas and Alabama and Tennessee. I found myself welcomed into their embrace even as I tried not to be starstruck in their presence. 

We welcomed in the new year on a beach in Jamaica, spending our days soaking up the sun, and our nights wrapped in each other’s arms. I never could have imagined feeling so in love and loved. I was head-over-heels and completely under his spell.

Our Valentine’s Day, we spend an intimate evening in. After a sumptuous dinner, he serenaded me and then took me to bed for more mind-blowing sex. I’d never been so completely captivated by someone, and Christian’s attention to making me happy was intoxicating.

_Warm my body to the core just like a blanket.  
His face was so sweet then he took my breath away.  
Hit me so hard like a rock through a window.  
I knew I was in trouble from the moment I met you, boy._

In April, when he finished filming, we went to his house in L.A. He seemed very distracted and I chalked it up to the uncertainty of another season for his show. When I tried to talk to him about it, he brushed me off, and for the first time, I was worried about us.

When May rolled around, I did what desperate women have done countless times: I told him I had missed my period. 

After he told me early on that he disliked condoms, I’d offered to go on birth control; of course, this was after we’d both taken HIV tests. I hoped a pregnancy scare would bring us closer, but it didn’t. 

Immediately after our conversation, he ran out to a drug store and bought a home test kit. Rightly, I was afraid to take it, and I was able to put it off for two days, but eventually I ran out of excuses. 

He was nice when it came up negative, and made all the right noises, but I could feel the distance grow between us. I was paralyzed by the fear of losing the man I loved, and I tried everything I could think of to keep him close, but I realize now, he could sense my desperation. 

Near Mother’s Day weekend, I overheard him making reservations; he was flying back to Oklahoma... alone. When he saw me standing in the hallway, he dipped his head and said what everyone dreads hearing: we need to talk.

He explained that he wasn’t in love with me anymore, and he thought we should stop seeing each other. He said he still cared about me, but that we were over. 

I cried. I pleaded. I begged. He wouldn’t be swayed, and quietly reminded me that he wasn’t the marrying kind, and that he didn’t like to stay in one place too long. Nothing I said or did would change his mind.

He bought me a plane ticket and took me to the airport. I cried and pleaded again, making a dramatic scene. I thought I saw sympathy in his eyes but soon realized it was pity. I knew then, it was really over.

With a last hug, I kissed him softly and turned and walked away. I was numb.

_Now the numb has set in._  
He's gone like the wind.  
And I can barely feel the pain. 

As I sat on the plane, I realized my folly in thinking I could change him. I thought I’d be the one. I hoped one day I could look back on our time together as a gift, until then only one thing brought me any comfort:

I had been loved by Christian Kane.


End file.
